i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
