Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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