the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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