uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
