Porn is love you can see.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
