What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
