can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
sarcasm needs its own font
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
