sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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