my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
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If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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