my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
