On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
