I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
