I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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