Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
