yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
