do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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