just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
