I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
