i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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