D3 body, D1 cock
True but thats because hes a fetus.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
