Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
