make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
