why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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