Is it because I queefed?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
