If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
