we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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