I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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