y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
