he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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