I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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