Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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