The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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