addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
