Me too!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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