I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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