I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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