I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize