where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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