I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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