The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
