@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
what the fuck happened to the tacos