Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
