Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

(810): View more from Michigan

With himself

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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(315): View more from New York

apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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(301): View more from Maryland

I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.

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