I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.