Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
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Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo