Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

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  (586): I mean a good dj is a huge turn on http://tfl.nu/qjzn
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (614)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  another moral hangover. fuck.

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  (910): another moral hangover. fuck. http://tfl.nu/vn7k
  Replies (14) Good night (779) Bad night (1059)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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  (225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm
  Replies (32) Good night (3142) Bad night (675)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i would punch a child for taco bell

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  (706): i would punch a child for taco bell http://tfl.nu/lkky
  Replies (41) Good night (5693) Bad night (1129)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

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  (207): Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS http://tfl.nu/yr3m
  Replies (8) Good night (4359) Bad night (768)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina

  (804): View more from Virginia

  not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote

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  (401): she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina (804): not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote http://tfl.nu/mq8t
  Replies (33) Good night (1126) Bad night (4215)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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  (614): So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome. http://tfl.nu/kpah
  Replies (18) Good night (6146) Bad night (1233)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...

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  (617): ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day... http://tfl.nu/iy3f
  Replies (13) Good night (1212) Bad night (4748)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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  (717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g
  Replies (13) Good night (4657) Bad night (1012)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal

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  (219): I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal http://tfl.nu/2jng
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (839)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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  (484): Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea http://tfl.nu/f1ip
  Replies (5) Good night (1539) Bad night (1646)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.

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  (203): She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to. http://tfl.nu/ivcq
  Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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  (714): The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet. http://tfl.nu/xgey
  Replies (12) Good night (2517) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.

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  (512): We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again. http://tfl.nu/4ffb
  Replies (8) Good night (668) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.

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  (443): Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on. http://tfl.nu/e4fs
  Replies (6) Good night (170) Bad night (378)

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