He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
