there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
