You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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