I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize