have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
