made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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