im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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