we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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