We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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