I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
