i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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