I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
