I want to make a zoo with you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
