he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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