help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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