I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize