I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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