If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
