Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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