I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
