Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
