there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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