Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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