Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
